Dear men, do ask for directions sometimes. Just ask. You will not die.

On Sunday evening I was to meet an investigator over the accident we had some time ago in Meru. We were to meet at highlands, corner house. Very convenient for everyone. Or so we thought.

We walked in at exactly 4:00pm as agreed and my friend (I will call him Arden) called him.

Arden: Hello.

Investigator: Uko wapi?

Arden: Niko hapa ndani, hii side ya Double M za kuenda airport.

Where is that? My friend asked. I didn’t know even Double M, plying Mombasa road would be perfect description for a place. I passed the query. He called again.

Arden: Ati unasema uko?

Investigator: Highlands, Corner House.

Arden : Uko sure ni Corner House?

Investigator : Oh ngoja, hapana niko hapa hii opposite KTDA house, inaitwa Highlands Annex.

Arden: Haya, tunakuja.

As we walked into the now darkening Nairobi streets we had no clue as to where we were going. Arden kept apologizing and I honestly did not mind. On other occasions I might have been offended. I don’t know really. But for this investigator who couldn’t give directions, I was intrigued and very pissed. We walked fast. Riding along with the crowds of Nairobi. Occasionally colliding with faceless people. The throng of humanity in this city is unfathomable. Where do all these people live? Maybe one day I will know. As we approached KTDA House, the skies opened up. We stood on a verandah with a hundred other city dwellers sheltering from the rain. Arden made another call and we agreed to cross the street and ask one of the security guards about this mysterious Highlands we had never heard of.

The rain was getting heavier by the minute. The sun had long given up and gone to rest. But we had business to transact. Insurance claims suck. If you schedule a meeting on Sunday at 4.00pm you must show up. Else it will look like you are lying even if you aren’t. Arden decided we needed to buy an umbrella to cross the street. Of course a hawker showed up just in time. By the way, where do these people come from? Do they consult with the rain gods? I would like to know their business plans and business acumen. Arden bought an umbrella at a ksh 300. An umbrella I wouldn’t have paid 150 for 30 minutes earlier. Across the street, a very polite guard showed us how to get into the restaurant. It is up a weirdly placed staircase and unless you have been there you can never know it is there. I think it’s in the same building with Sabinajoy (ask around what it is).By the way, I have never seen the sign for SabinaJoy so I will pass on Moi Avenue this week just to look for it.

I carried the umbrella home with me, because there is an unwritten code forbidding men to carry around umbrellas, or so I hear.