Lost and Confused Signpost

I should be recapping 2016 but I will not. It’s hard not to overshare in this digital era so you just hold everything in. Most of my biggest moments in the past year are things I would want to keep to myself. That said, I have not written for this blog in what feels like a decade. Well,that’s because December I was on a break and my laptop was having fainting spells. It’s inane to consider a non-living thing a friend but I have a working relationship with my laptop. She is my friend, I have even named her. Let’s get back to living and breathing things

As you grow older your friendship circle grows smaller. You sometimes feel as if you owe some of your friends an apology because you don’t talk as often. I have quickly discovered I don’t owe anyone an apology. No matter your personality you slowly discover you sometimes want to spend time by yourself.

When you are in transition that is the moment you discover who your true friends are. Being in transition means a big change is happening in your life. You are out of a job, you have moved to a new town, your family is growing or you have lost someone.  There are some friends who will go nowhere. No matter what you go through they will stick around. You move to another country they are always lurking somewhere. Thank God for technology it’s easy to keep in touch.

We have all kinds of friends. The duration you have known someone doesn’t matter how true they are is what matters. I have a friend I have known for the last fifteen years. This friendship has aged like fine wine. Initially we were just schoolmates. Then life happened gradually and now we talk daily. We are at the point where we don’t even say goodnight anymore because something will come up in the middle of the night and if I feel the need to chat her up that voids my goodnight.

I also have people I have known for the about five years and they have become close friends. I met one of my closest friends about a year ago today and we have achieved so much together. He is someone I would have never imagined would be my friend at all. I have known some for a few months and they are amazing people.

As I grow older I have reached a point where if I feel like I’m working too hard to make a relationship work I let it die. I don’t push it. I know it’s not good but I have learned to not push myself into people. Everyone can become a friend amidst any relation you have with them. Growing up I never knew I would be friends with my father. He seemed aloof and very introverted. Now he is more of a friend than a father. Unlike my mother who is a chatterbox. I check out of conversations with my mother because she just goes on and on, but I love her. I have been friends with her since I was a little girl.

The cycle of life is so that it’s easy to tell your friends you love them and mean it. It’s easy if you don’t put up a face. If you are you are yourself it’s easier to relate to people because they will love for whom you really are not the Instagram life you put up.  Life has taught me to take everything one step at a time. That’s very cliché but if you force it or not life will just happen at its own pace.

2017 will be an interesting year. Not because Trump is the leader of the free world but because it’s an election year in Kenya and I feel like this is one of those elections that will decide on the path our country will take for the next foreseeable future.  Doctors have been on strike for a while now and the government doesn’t seem to give a f*ck. The rates of unemployment are insane. Have we overtaken Nigeria on that corruption meter yet? If not this is the year that we most probably will. I am actually worried about my country. I don’t think about the future on purpose because I don’t know what I see in it. We can blame that last sentence on growing older but the world is a little unsettling right now and I do not know if we are still on the axis that we have always been or we’ve moved.